


Honey I Shrunk the Kids

by puddlejumper99



Series: Tumblr Prompts [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Dan POV, De-Aged Andrew Minyard, De-Aged Neil Josten, Fluff, Gen, Legos, an au that has nothing to do with honey i shrunk the kids, bad parenting techniques, it was just the working title and i was too lazy to think of a new one, slap "quantum" in front of anything to make it sound like science!, the foxes are bad influences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-14 01:16:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18042686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puddlejumper99/pseuds/puddlejumper99
Summary: Due to handwavium quantum nonsense, Andrew and Neil are suddenly children again, with no memories of their lives with the Foxes. The team attempts to take care of them. Hijinks and cuteness ensues.





	Honey I Shrunk the Kids

**Author's Note:**

> anon asked: anything with baby neil is my life blood right now, like de aged to four or five and just so precious and doe eyed and everyone can love on him like he deserved to have!

“So,” Nicky said, huddling at the doorway with the others. “This is fun!”

“ _Nicky_ ,” Dan hissed. “Not the time!”

A pair of wide blue eyes popped up behind the couch. Dan tried for a friendly smile, but the eyes dropped back down the second they spotted her.

“What? It’s been awhile since we’ve all hung out with the ickle newbies around—”

“How the hell did this _happen_?” Allison demanded.

“I don’t know!” Kevin said. “One minute I was in the bedroom watching videos and the next moment they were—like _that_.”

His voice rose shrilly towards the end. “Shhh,” Dan said, hearing a scuffle behind the couch. “They definitely didn’t recognize you?”

“No,” Kevin whispered, staring at the room more fearfully than Dan thought a pair of six-year-olds warranted. To be fair, she was currently repressing her own panic pretty hard. “They saw me and scattered. Andrew’s barricaded himself in the bathroom.”

“Okay,” Dan said, looking around. Even Renee looked incredibly off-balance. She was going to have to keep this together or it wouldn’t be long before the whole team was in hysterics. “Okay, who here has experience with kids?”

The only thing that could’ve made the following silence more resounding was if crickets had chirped.

“None of you?” Dan said. “Fuck.” She covered her mouth, holding out a hand towards the child behind the couch. “No, don’t listen to me, don’t—”

“Dan, I’m pretty sure Neil has said a hell of a lot worse than that—”

“He doesn’t remember that though!” Dan rubbed her hand over her short hair, taking a fortifying breath. “Alright, Kevin, call Coach, tell him to get his ass here as fast as possible.” Then maybe she could have a proper meltdown. “Allison, try and look up someone who might have expertise in this kind of— _whatever_. Renee, try to lure Andrew out. Matt, you’re with me.”

“Oh, let me help!” Nicky said. “I’m sure I’m great with kids!”

“I think they’re going to need a bit more subtlety, Nicky.”

“Come on! Don’t forget I practically raised Andrew and Aaron, and they turned out alright!”

The others just stared at him. Nicky deflated a little. “Alright, you may have a point.”

“Just…order food or something. Keep it simple, kids don’t like fancy stuff.”

Nicky nodded, eager to help. Dan took another deep breath, and stepped into the living room.

She tucked herself in beside the couch, crouching down to seem less frightening. “Hey, there,” she said, and winced internally at the horrible, cutesy voice coming out of her mouth. Most of her experience with kids had been her aunt’s squalling baby.

The tiny child huddled behind the couch stared at her, wide-eyed. Dan didn’t have a good sense of these things, but he couldn’t have been much more than four, still round-cheeked and chubby. “It’s okay,” she said. “You’re safe. Do you know how you got here?”

Toddler-Neil shrank a little bit further. “Where’s my mommy?”

Dan inhaled sharply, her chest squeezing. “She’s not here right now, but we’re taking care of you right now. My name is Dan, this is Matt.”

“Hi!” Matt said, with a big grin and a wave.

The little boy’s eyes jumped to Matt and he flinched, shrinking behind the back of the couch. “Oh no, Neil, it’s okay,” Matt said hurriedly. “Shh. Shh.”

“I want my mommy,” Neil whimpered, squeezing into a tight ball.

“I know, sweetie, I know,” Dan said, gesturing Matt to get back. He backed away, drooping. “Do you want something to drink? Some juice?”

“I want my mommy!”

“She’s going to be here soon,” Dan lied. “Why don’t you come watch TV with us?”

A soft tap came at her shoulder. She looked up, and Nicky held out a glass of milk with a shrug. She accepted it, turning back to little Neil. “Hey, Nicky got you some milk. Isn’t that nice?”

Neil’s face screwed up, his chubby cheeks growing redder.

“Oh, no, Neil, shh. It’s okay.”

“My name’s not Neil!”

“Oh,” she said dumbly, glancing around for help.

“Nathaniel,” Aaron supplied from where he stood behind the kitchen counter. Dan supposed this was all probably pretty shocking to him too, considering his twin was also shrunk, but right now she needed to focus on the immediate problem.

“Right. Nathaniel.” She grimaced. The memory of Neil’s flinch whenever the name was spoken made her mouth taste foul. “Can I call you Nate?”

Neil’s big bottom lip trembled as he watched her. “Lola calls me Natty.”

“Who’s—” She stopped, spotting Matt’s desperate gesture from the corner of his eye.

He tapped his finger to his cheek. “She’s the one that—”

“Right. Okay. Nate sounds good, right? How old are you, Nate?”

“Four.”

“Wow. You must know a lot of cool stuff by now. Um.” Fuck. Oh, _fuck_ it had been a long time since she talked to kids. “Do you play Exy?”

Aaron made an exasperated noise, but it was the exact right thing to say. Neil’s whole face lit up, starry eyed. “Exy is the _best_!”

“It’s totally the best!” she enthused. “Can I tell you something cool?”

Neil nodded hard, his curls bobbing and falling into his face.

“We all play on an Exy team together. I’m the team captain!”

“Are you good?” Neil demanded.

“We’re the best.”

“Wow,” Neil said, scooting forward a few inches. “I wanna play, but mommy says I’m too little.”

“You are very little,” Dan said in a serious tone.

“Am not!” Neil said indignantly. “I’m _four._ ”

“Sorry. I’m sure you’re very big for a four-year-old.

Neil scrunched up his face, a little pouty. “Not little.”

Dan actually smiled at his tiny sulk. “Are you hungry?”

Neil picked at the carpet. “Yeah.”

Dan shot an inquiring glance over at Nicky. “Pizza’s coming in half an hour,” he said.

She turned back to Neil. “Do you like pizza?”

“I guess.”

“Okay. Is there something you do like?”

Neil’s shoulders hunched nervously. “Mommy says I should eat whatever she says.”

Dan had to physically restrain the anger that surged through her. How dare that woman treat Neil—

She was dead, Dan reminded herself. Neil’s mother was dead, and nobody was going to hurt him ever again.

“Well, mommy isn’t here right now, so you can eat anything you want.”

Neil’s eyes peeked up at her from under his hair. “Anything?”

“Yup.”

He picked at the carpet for another couple seconds. Finally, he whispered, “Hotdogs.”

“Okay. Hotdogs it is. Nicky, do we need to do a grocery run?”

Nicky ran to the freezer and flung it open. “Uhhh, so we’ve got burgers—”

“Neil—sorry, Nate wants hotdogs.”

“Okay, I’ll just—” He paused. “So would it be wrong of me to take Andrew’s car, considering the only two drivers should definitely not have their licenses right now?”

“Nicky,” Dan growled.

“Right! I’m off!”

“And get some toys or something while you’re out.”

“Got it. Aaron, come with?”

Aaron looked deeply uncomfortable, but he nodded.

When the door closed behind them, Dan settled back against the side of the couch, holding her arms out to Neil. “Okay, so we’ll make hotdogs soon. Want to watch TV?”

Neil stared at her for a long moment, then abruptly threw himself into her arms, latching onto her side like a limpet. Dan scooped him up, cradling his tiny, soft body in her arms and trying to hold him clear of the milk glass.

“You’re so nice,” Neil murmured against her sweater, squeezing his chubby arms around her neck. He smelled clean, like soap and baby powder, and Dan’s heart melted as she hefted him up. She crooned softly against his head, smoothing his silky curls with one hand as she got to her feet.

“Oh my god,” Matt breathed, eyes wide. “Oh my god, he’s so _cute._ ”

Dan kept bouncing Neil gently, an involuntary smile on her lips. “Can you check how Renee’s doing?”

Matt stared at her for another long second, looking hypnotized.

“Matt?” she prompted.

“Right,” he said, skirting the room to give her and Neil lots of space. Dan settled on the couch, rubbing Neil’s back. He nestled into her side, warm and solid.

She could just see the hallway out of the corner of her eye, so she noticed immediately when Renee and Matt emerged from the bathroom a minute later. Renee had her head ducked down, a painted-on smile on her face, and beside her—

Holy _shit._

Andrew was nearly as small as Neil, his hair glowing platinum blond. His hand was firmly wrapped around two of Renee’s fingers, eyes suspicious as he cast about the room. “You said there was ice cream?” he demanded.

Renee’s smile eased a little into something more genuine. “I promised,” she said, tugging him over to the kitchen. Matt hovered in the hallway behind them, staring over at Dan and mouthing, “ _Oh my god_.”

Dan could only nod, mute. Andrew was so small, so fragile—her arms tightened around Neil protectively. They were _children_ for God’s sake. It had never really struck her before that either of them had ever been this small—it felt like they’d manifested directly into hard-eyed young men. How stupid of her—

Neil squeaked in protest, squirming out of her grip. “Sorry,” she said, loosening her arms, but he had already forgotten, clambering up the back of the couch to stare over at Renee and Andrew with wide eyes. He attempted to climb right over the top of the couch and Dan grabbed him, airlifting him to the floor.

He toddled off quickly, grabbing one of the barstools for support and staring at Andrew. “Your hair looks dumb,” he announced.

Tiny Andrew scowled. “Your face looks dumb!”

Matt looked like Christmas had come early. He fumbled his phone out of his pocket, and grinned over at Dan. She buried her head in her hands, uncontrollable-borderline-hysterical laughter bubbling up in her chest. 

The door swung open, letting Allison in with a fog of rose-scented perfume. “Alright, I got a hold of some quack PhD at the university who claims to deal with this shit, but he—”

Whatever he said was lost. Allison froze in the middle of the living room, gaping at the scene in the kitchen. “Holy _fuck_?”

“ _Allison_ ,” Renee, Dan and Matt said.

“Fuck,” Neil said.

“Neil!” Matt said.

“Fuck!” Andrew said.

“This is a disaster,” Dan said.

Allison sat down in an armchair, looking absolutely floored. Renee pulled a pile of bowls out of the cupboard, portioning out half a dozen scoops of ice cream. Allison blinked, pointing a finger at the two children, then closing her eyes for a long moment. “So, this PhD assho—”

“Allison,” Dan warned.

Allison glared at her. “This _guy_ says it’s a quantum flux, or something, and there’s no telling how long it’ll last. He says it usually wears off within a few days, but if it doesn’t, we should take them in for testing at his lab.”

“We’re not taking them into a _lab_ ,” Matt said, affronted.

“Well, we can’t just leave them like this,” Dan said.

“Like what?” Neil asked, sneaking up behind Renee’s leg and poking Andrew in the stomach.

Andrew grabbed Neil’s hair, pulling it hard.

“Owwww,” Neil whined, bolting back to the living room and wrapping his arms around Dan’s knee.

Renee frowned down at Andrew. “That was mean, Andrew,” she said.

“He started it!”

“That doesn’t mean you get to be mean to him. He’s younger than you.”

“He started it,” Andrew sulked.

Renee cast her gaze over the group with a pleading expression.

No aid was to be found. Healthy childhoods were in short supply among the Foxes; Dan wasn’t sure if _any_ of them knew a good way to teach a kid a moral lesson.

Renee sighed, offering Andrew his bowl of ice cream. He jumped up, eyes brightening. “You have to promise not to pull Neil’s hair again,” she said severely.

“What if he pulls mine first?”

“Then you’ll tell me, and I’ll deal with it,” she said.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Okay,” Andrew said solemnly.

Neil rubbed his face against Dan’s knee and she bent down, scooping him up. “Do you want some ice cream too?” she asked. She was pretty sure they had this all backwards. They were supposed to give kids dinner before dessert. This had to count as extenuating circumstances, though.

“Yeah,” Neil mumbled, peeking over her shoulder towards where Renee was setting the table. Andrew clambered up into a chair, grasping a spoon in his fist and digging into his ice cream like he thought someone was going to take it away.

Actually, that was probably exactly what he thought. Dan rubbed a hand up Neil’s back, as much for her own sake as his, and carried him over to the table, sitting at the far end. Neil twisted around but made no move to leave her lap, so she kept her arms in a loose circle around him as Renee put a small bowl of vanilla ice cream in front of them.

Allison still looked leery of the two children, but she took a seat at Renee’s insistent gesture. Matt sat next to her and Renee took the head of the table in what had to be the weirdest team dinner they’d ever had.

“So, Andrew,” Dan asked, “have you ever played Exy?”

“No,” he said, shooting her a sullen look.

Well, that was never going to work twice.

“Have you started school yet?” she tried.

“I go to Mrs. C,” he said.

“That’s cool,” she said, as she knew what that meant. “Do you like her?”

“She smells funny,” he said. “Her books are good. Sometimes she reads to us and it’s really nice.”

“What’s your favourite book?”

“The Giving Tree.”

A round of blinks went between the adults at the table. Renee rallied first, smiling at Andrew. “I really like that book,” she said. “Why is it your favourite?”

“It’s kind of sad but also happy. And Mrs. C always does weird voices.”

“I like The Paper Bag Princess,” Neil announced.

Andrew made a face at him. “That’s a _girl’s_ book.”

“No, it’s not!”

“Books can be for boys and girls,” Matt said.

“What’s the Paper Bag Princess about?” Renee asked, distracting Andrew by scooping a little extra ice cream into his bowl.

Neil launched into a long explanation of the story which left the Foxes more confused than when they’d started. His ice cream melted into a puddle of sugary soup and he didn’t argue when Andrew stole it and noisily slurped it down.

A hammering at the door made them all jump. “It’s unlocked,” Matt called, and Wymack breezed in with Kevin on his heels.

He stopped in the doorway, surveying the scene. “Oh,” he said dumbly. “So Kevin wasn’t drunk.”

Kevin looked affronted. “You think I would joke—”

“I think if you’d coached the Foxes as long as I have, you’d have some trust issues, too,” Wymack said.

Neil squirmed on Dan’s lap, wriggling up so he could flatten himself against her body. His eyes were glued to Wymack, wide and fearful.

“Uh, Coach,” Dan said, wincing. “Volume.”

“What?” Wymack said, then his eyes dropped to Neil and understanding dawned. “Right,” he said, more softly. “I’m just going to call Abby. She’ll know what to do.” Which was very plainly deflecting, and Dan wondered why she’d thought Wymack would be any help in this at all. He was well-meaning, but he could be terribly conventional in his total inability to deal with children.

She watched him flee into the hallway with something like resignation. Kevin approached the table tentatively, looking nearly as uncomfortable as Allison. “Hello,” he said, awkward and formal. “My name is Kevin.”

Dan steeled herself, knowing exactly what she needed to say next and hating herself for it. “He’s the greatest Exy player of all time,” she told Neil.

His eyes lit up, but it was Andrew who spoke up first.

“Mrs. C says tattoos are for bad people which means you’re probably a really, really bad person because you have a tattoo on your _face_.”

There was a beat of silence, then Allison snorted. “Yeah, tell him, Andrew.”

Andrew shot her a suspicious look, but turned back to Kevin. “If you’re a bad person then Renee will hurt you,” he said. “She’s really good at fighting. She said so.”

“Wow, Renee,” Allison said. “Whoever knew you’d be so good with kids?”

Renee shot her a glare. “I don’t see you doing any better,” she hissed.

Allison snickered, her pleasure at Kevin’s discomfort overriding her own awkwardness around the kids.

Nicky and Aaron chose that moment to arrive, a pair of grocery bags over Aaron’s wrist and a giant box dwarfing Nicky. “I bought Lego!” Nicky sang, his face smushed and hidden behind the giant box.

“Christ, Nicky,” Dan said. “How much Lego did you buy?”

“It was on sale!”

“It’s not like—” Dan checked herself, glancing at Andrew, who was still scowling at Kevin rather impressively. She sort of _hoped_ this wouldn’t last long, but she wasn’t going to say that out loud, not when Andrew and Neil had no memory of what had happened and abandonment issues ten miles high.

“Don’t look at me,” Aaron grumbled. “You think I have any control over him?” He dumped the bags of food on the counter and regarded his twin brother. As if sensing his gaze, Andrew turned his head and stared at him.

“I got you something,” Aaron said, gruff, and dug a small stuffed cat out of the grocery bag.

He shoved it towards Andrew, dangling it by the neck. It swayed there, splotched in brown and white, its whiskers drooping and bent from being shoved in the grocery bag. Andrew continued to stare at Aaron, eyes wary.

Aaron sighed and dropped the cat into Andrew’s lap, retreating into the kitchen. “We got hotdogs and we picked up some more ice cream,” he said to the room at large.

“Thanks, Aaron,” Renee said, pushing her chair back and joining him. Pots and pans clattered as they set to cooking.

Nicky wobbled and finally toppled, landing on his ass with a crash. The colourful box in his arms tipped over, rattling like a ball pit in an earthquake. “Ow,” he said woefully, rubbing his elbow and extricating himself from under the box.

“Do you want to play Legos?” Dan asked, looking down at Neil. He’d already forgotten all about Kevin.

“What’s Legos?” Neil asked

“Oh man,” Matt said. “Legos are the greatest. You can build anything!”

“Yeah?” Neil said, twisting his hand in Dan’s sweater and turning his big blue eyes on Matt. Dan could practically see Matt turning to goo at the sight.

“Totally! Do you want to try?”

Neil’s hand pinched Dan’s stomach as he twisted, nervous. She bit back a grimace, hefting Neil in her arms to try and loosen his grip. “Matt’s very good at Legos,” she said, having never seen him play with Legos before in her life. “And you can have a hotdog after.”

“Okay,” Neil said, voice small.

It wasn’t enthusiasm, but she could work with that. “How about you, Andrew?”

Andrew looked up from his lap, jumping. “What?”

She caught a peek of the stuffed cat in his lap disappearing under his shirt and wisely said nothing. “Do you want to play Legos with Nei—Nate?”

“No,” Andrew said.

“Okay,” Dan said. “Come on, Nate, let’s get the Lego set up.”

She lifted him off her lap and placed him on the ground. He latched onto her leg immediately, giggling when she tried to take a step. “Hey,” she said, looking down at him.

He giggled again and wrapped his legs around her ankle like a koala. She huffed and swung her foot through, his weight like a tiny boulder on the end of her leg. “I’m going to need a chiropractor after this,” she muttered as she heaved Neil into the living room. Matt snorted.

 “Alright,” she said when they reached the Lego box. “You have to let go now.”

Neil’s hands just tightened, pinching her muscles uncomfortably. “Hey, buddy, we can’t play Legos with you attached to my leg.”

“You’re going to play too?” he asked, peeking up at her.

Oh. There were the abandonment issues again. “Yeah, definitely,” she said.

Neil slowly let go, creeping forward towards the box. Nicky had already wrested the top open with a pair of scissors, and was pulling the plastic packaging off of a giant bin of loose Lego pieces. Dan gestured to Matt to sit, and he squashed down immediately, big and gangly on the floor.

Dan grabbed the paper instruction manual and folded her legs to sit next to Neil. “Hey, look, we can make a race car. Isn’t that cool?”

Neil stared at the pictures and pointed at one of the others. “Rocket ship!”

“What do you think, Matt? Can we make a rocket ship?”

“I dunno,” Matt said, tone serious but eyes dancing. “It looks pretty complicated. But if Nate’s helping us, I bet we could do it.”

Dan smiled at him over Neil’s head and his lips quirked up at her, lopsided and sweet.

“We need orange bits for the fire,” Neil said, studying the picture intently.

“Okay,” Matt said. “Can you help me find some?”

Dan leaned back on her hands, watching as Matt and Neil dug through the bin of Lego together. Nicky hovered for another second, hands wringing and eyes wide and adoring, then he met her eye and fled to the kitchen to help with the hot dogs.

Dan’s breath left her in a slow exhale. This was probably going to interfere with their season, she thought idly. They had a game tomorrow night, and the freshmen were definitely not ready to cover for Andrew and Neil. They’d manage, though. They always did. She watched as Neil unfurled, his fearfulness evaporating in the face of Matt’s unwavering warmth, and felt settled, like a cat curling up in a sunbeam.

Pizza arrived almost exactly the same moment as the hotdogs were ready, and chaos broke loose as the Foxes scrambled to make sure Andrew and Neil both got whatever they wanted. Neil got ketchup all over his shirt—she was about 90% sure that was actually one of his real shirts, shrunk down with him—and Andrew made lofty comments about how messy and dumb he was until Nicky smudged pizza sauce on his nose, making him shriek.

Neil grabbed Dan’s hand and tugged her back towards the Lego. She bit back a groan of exhaustion. “How about you play with Matt for a bit? I’ll be right here.”

“But we’re not done the rocket ship!”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m not young like you. I’m very old and slow.”

She made a show of hunching her back and creaking her way towards the couch and Neil giggled in delight, hunching his shoulders and tottering after her.

“Come on, squirt,” Matt said, holding out his hand. “Let’s finish that rocket ship.”

“You’re making a rocket ship?” Andrew asked.

“Yep,” Matt said. “Wanna join?”

“I don’t want him to play with us,” Neil said, stomping his foot. “He’s a meanie!”

Andrew’s face screwed up. “Well I don’t want to make a dumb rocket ship anyway!”

“Guys, guys, shhh,” Matt said frantically. “Neil, you shouldn’t say things like that.”

“I’m not Neil!”

“Sorry, Nate, buddy—”

“He’s mean!”

“And now you’re being mean.”

Neil stopped, staring up at Matt. “No I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. Now, how about you say sorry for being mean to Andrew, and then he’ll say sorry to you. And then we can all build the rocket ship.”

“I’m not saying sorry,” Andrew sulked.

“Andrew,” Nicky said. “That’s bad manners.”

Andrew kicked his foot against the ground, and he hugged the stuffed cat against his stomach almost angrily. “Sorry,” he muttered, unconvincingly.

Nicky looked stunned that his reprimand had worked. Dan couldn’t help but feel the same way. Andrew didn’t apologize for _anything_.

Neil scowled at the carpet.

“Nate,” Matt said. “It’s your turn.”

“He was mean first,” Neil muttered.

“He said sorry.”

“Fine.” Neil scrunched up his face, glaring at Andrew. “I’m sorry,” he said, in what had to be the least apologetic voice Dan had ever heard.

Matt covered his eyes, his lips curling with repressed laughter. Dan retreated to where Renee and Allison sat on the couch, watching as Nicky and Matt tried to wrangle the two boys towards the Lego pile.

Aaron hovered beside the couch, watching with a frown creasing his forehead. Dan tapped her finger against her thigh, looking up at him. “It’s probably not permanent,” she reminded him. “They’ll be back to normal soon enough.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” Aaron said. “What if—”

He cut off, his nostrils flaring, the whites of his eyes flickering in the light.

“We’ll deal with that if it comes to it,” she said. Aaron shoved his hands in his pockets, his expression pinched. He didn’t look reassured.

Dan glanced back at the kids playing in the Lego, unsure how to comfort him. Neil had just knocked over Matt’s rocket ship; it looked like he was trying to build his own now.

“Daaaan,” Matt whined. “Nate is bullying me.”

“Am not!” Neil said. “Matt is just dumb!”

Andrew pulled the top off of the tower Nicky was building and pulled out all the red pieces, piling them to the side. Nicky pouted, trying to steal one of Andrew’s red pieces and nearly getting his hand bitten for his trouble. Andrew added the red pieces to a small square wall and carefully placed his stuffed cat inside.

“He really seems to like that stuffie,” she said.

“Yeah,” Aaron said.

They watched the kids’ antics for another couple seconds before Aaron sank into the beanbag chair next to the couch, chewing on his thumbnail. “I had one like that when I was little,” he said. “I brought it everywhere.”

“Huh,” Dan said. “Wow.”

Neil only lasted another twenty minutes before he started drooping, covering yawns with his hands. He crawled out of the pile of Legos he’d accumulated and toddled over to Dan, burying his face in her knee.

“Hey, buddy,” she said, smoothing her hand through his hair. “Ready for bed?”

“No,” he said petulantly, but let her lift him up and cuddle him against her chest.

“I don’t suppose anyone has a pyjama shirt that would fit him?” Dan asked, not hopeful.

“I picked some up at Walmart,” Aaron said. “They’re on the counter.”

“Oh,” Dan said. “Thanks. How’s that sound, Nate? Want to check out your new pyjamas?”

He nodded, his face smushed into her collarbone. “Okay,” she said, hauling herself off the couch with a grunt. She transferred Neil to her right arm, propping him on her hip so she could up-end the bag onto the counter. “Dinosaurs or cats?”

“Dinosaws,” Neil mumbled.

“Awesome,” she said, grabbing the matching t-shirt and pants

“Want mommy.”

“I know,” Dan said, hefting him up a little higher. “Let’s get you ready for bed.”

“Not tired.”

“Sure,” she said. “Whatever you say.”

She carried him into the bathroom, grimacing at the state of it. _Boys_. Two of the three towels hanging up looked like they hadn’t been washed in months; they smelled it, too. The sink was crusted in grime and powdery toothpaste residue, and the counter was littered in nail clippings and stubbly hairs.

Dan lowered Neil to the bath mat, holding out the pyjama shirt. He raised his arms expectantly.

“I’m not dressing you,” she said. “You gotta help me here.”

“Mommy always does,” Neil sulked.

Dan pursed her lips. “Can you pull your shirt off? I’ve got your new one ready.”

Neil squirmed, wrestling with his t-shirt like a fish in the grasp of an octopus. He got one arm out of his sleeve but got stuck, and Dan had to pull on his other sleeve to get him out. She held the pyjama shirt out and he wriggled into it. Backwards, but Dan wasn’t about to get particular.

She hesitated at his pants. Was this weird? Neil was her _teammate_. She shouldn’t be seeing him naked. This was just—

She shoved the thoughts aside; Neil was four, and she was going to be professional about this, damnit. She tugged on his waistband and he obliged, pushing his pants down with the unselfconsciousness of childhood. She stripped them off his feet quickly and helped him step into the pyjama bottoms, turning her head partially away. It _was_ weird, but only because everything about today was weird.

He latched onto her hand once he was dressed and she stood, knees popping from kneeling on the tile floor. “Bed time?” she asked.

“Okay,” Neil said, leaning against her knee for a moment. She tugged and he followed her into the hallway.

“Hey, Kevin,” she said, tilting her head towards the bedroom. “Which bed can Nate use?”

Kevin hurried up from the kitchen table, squirreling a small bottle of something into his pocket. Dan gave him a hard look, which he avoided, ducking past them into the bedroom.

It was slightly less gross than the bathroom, though there was still a fugue of musty laundry smell over the room. “Neil’s bed is the loft,” Kevin said, kicking a pair of dirty boxers under the bed.

“Gross,” Dan said, side-eyeing him. Kevin at least had the good grace to look a little ashamed of himself. “Which one’s yours?”

Kevin frowned in confusion, but pointed across the room at the single bunk. “Alright,” Dan said, giving him up as a lost cause and leading Neil over to what she presumed was Andrew’s bed, beneath Neil’s. She wasn’t putting a toddler in a _loft_.

Neil clambered up clumsily, hanging onto Dan with one hand. She let herself be drawn down, ducking her head to sit on the bottom bunk with him. The sheets, at least, were blessedly clean.

Neil burrowed down into the blankets, the tufts of his curls spilling out over the pillow. His eyes blinked up at her, sleep-heavy but worried.

“Hey, buddy,” she said softly, smoothing his hair with one hand. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Neil mumbled, but she wasn’t fooled. His grip on her fingers hadn’t loosened yet.

“Um,” she said, casting around for inspiration. Kevin stood in the doorway, hugging himself anxiously. “Do you want me to sing?”

Neil scooted a little closer to her. “Yeah.”

“Okay.” She paused. Singing wasn’t really her thing. “Okay.”

She took a deep breath and started to sing, voice low and quiet. Neil scrunched down into the bunk, staring up at her with half-lidded eyes.

_Amazing grace_

_How sweet the sound…_

She kept singing even as Neil’s eyes slipped closed, his face pushed into the pillow. His grip slowly went lax until finally she was able to gently tuck his hand under the blanket and ease up off the mattress.

Kevin still stood in the doorway, and Dan jerked her head towards the living room. She closed the door partway and padded softly into the main room, where Nicky was arguing Andrew into a pair of footie pyjamas with little cat ears on the hood. Dan dropped onto the couch with a groan, resting her head against Renee’s shoulder. Renee wrapped an arm around her, rubbing her back.

“Couldn’t we just have one quiet year?” Dan asked. “One year where we can just relax and focus on Exy?”

“At least it’s not the mafia this time,” Allison said. “Just space-time itself fucking with us. You know, normal shit.”

Andrew perked up from across the room, like he had some kind of weird swear-word radar. “She said a bad word,” he said.

“Stop eavesdropping,” Allison said. “It’s rude.”

Andrew glared back from under his cat hood. “You said fuck.”

“Ooookay there, Andrew,” Nicky said, reaching his hands out and redirecting Andrew’s attention. “Don’t listen to Allison, she wasn’t raised right. We were getting ready for bed?”

Andrew frowned petulantly. “Shit,” he muttered, kicking the carpet.

Nicky shot Allison a glare. “You are a terrible influence,” he said.

“I’m not tired,” Andrew said.

“Um,” Nicky said. “Right. So…”

“We can watch TV for a bit,” Dan suggested. That had always put her to sleep as a kid.

“Good idea,” Nicky said. “Hey Andrew, how about you take one of the bean bag chairs? Which one do you want?”

“Red one,” Andrew said, claiming it immediately and curling up like the cat he was dressed as. Nicky disappeared into the hallway and came back with an orange and white Palmetto Foxes blanket, draping it over Andrew and the bean bag. He scrunched up, pulling the blanket around him like a protective cocoon.

Despite his insistence that he wasn’t tired, he was out like a light by the time they had even picked a channel. They settled on Discovery, just in case he woke up again.

Nicky watched Andrew snuffle softly in his sleep, his tiny body rising and falling with his breaths. “Should we move him?” he asked, uncertain.

“He’s probably fine there,” Dan said. “I think—” She rubbed her eyes, groaning a little with tiredness. “Ugh. We should’ve put them in our room, Kevin’s useless.”

“Hey,” Kevin said, offended.

“When was the last time you vacuumed?” she snapped. “This place is a dump.”

Kevin’s ears went red. “We’re busy,” he said.

“You’ve got the same schedule as everyone else, and we don’t live like this,” Dan said. “I would have expected this from Neil—he’s basically a wild animal—but I expected better from you.”

Kevin muttered something indistinct, though Dan caught the words “cleaning staff” and “night practices.” Somehow, it wasn’t a surprise that the Nest didn’t expect its athletes to clean up after themselves.

Dan sighed. “I’ll stay on the couch. If this goes on any longer, we’ll move them over Abby’s house. Everybody might as well head to bed, we’ve got a game tomorrow—”

A slight creak of a door interrupted her. She looked up in time to spot Neil sneak into the hallway, hands twisted into his pyjama shirt.

“Hey, buddy,” Matt said. “You okay?”

“It’s dark,” Neil mumbled.

“Oh, sorry, Nate,” Dan said, hauling herself off the couch. “Do you want me to turn on the light?”

Neil fidgeted. “Can I stay out here?”

Dan softened, looking at his wide, staring eyes as he hovered in the hall. “Of course, sweetie. Andrew’s sleeping out here too.”

Neil’s eyes swept over the group of adults before he crept out of the hallway and over to Dan, leaning against her knee. She rubbed a hand over his hair. “That’s okay,” she murmured. “Shh. Shh.”

“The scary noises always come out when it’s dark,” Neil said, voice muffled against her jeans.

“It’s okay, Nate. You’re safe. Shh.”

Neil reached his arms up and she picked him up, cradling him against her chest. His arms wrapped around her neck, squeezing. She kept shushing into his hair, bouncing him gently and lowering herself to a seated position next to the other bean bag chair. Neil shifted, pulling out of her arms and lying down right next to Andrew on the red bean bag.

Andrew’s eyes squinted blearily, mumbling some kind of protest. Neil ignored him, squirming under the blanket and cuddling up against Andrew. Andrew made a soft, grumbly noise, before settling back down, Neil’s head pillowed on his hand.

“Oh my god,” Nicky whispered. “Can we keep them?”

“Nicky,” Dan said wearily, tugging him away from the sleepy children. The Foxes followed like a hive mind, congregating in the kitchen.  

“What? Everyone’s thinking it, I’m just saying it.”

“They are nicer this way,” Allison remarked. “And there’s some pretty cute kids fashion out there. I could teach Neil to dress properly from the ground up.”

“Not you too,” Dan grumbled.

“Our season is doomed without them,” Kevin said. “We have to do something—”

“This isn’t about _Exy_ ,” Dan said. “This is about getting our friends back.”

Everyone paused. “Andrew’s not your friend,” Aaron added helpfully.

“Thank you,” Dan said. “Come on, Matt, back me up.”

“I dunno…”

“Neil’s your best fucking friend. Don’t pretend you don’t want him back.”

“He is pretty cute though.” He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, resting his chin on top of her head. “Face it, we’d make great parents. You’re a natural.”

“Oh god no,” she said. “I am not going there with you today.”

“Aw, babe—”

A resounding _pop_ startled her out of Matt’s arms. Her eyes shot over to check if the noise had woken Neil and Andrew.

Neil stared back at her, scarred cheeks sleep-smudged and sharp. The blanket she’d draped over him was tangled around his legs, and then Andrew’s fist lashed out, catching a glancing blow to his ribs.

Neil scrambled away, scanning the room with wary eyes. The dinosaur pyjamas were weirdly warped and stretched over his adult frame, mottled purple and blue. Andrew kicked the blanket off his legs, rolling to his feet and glaring bloody murder. It was only slightly mitigated by the fact he was now wearing a giant cat onesie.

Neil looked down at his clothes. He looked across to the pile of Legos. He looked up at the rest of the Foxes, huddled in the kitchen.

“What the _fuck?_ ” he demanded.

Matt’s face melted into a grin instantly. “Oh man,” he said, already pulling his phone out of his pocket. “You are never going to _believe_ this one.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you think matt is going to stop trying to convince neil to play legos with him now that he's back to full size, you'd be mistaken. 
> 
> those are now the official team legos
> 
> (thanks for reading!!)


End file.
